Human Laws page 3

The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.
Jennings Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity
First Law of Laboratory Work:
Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
Murphy's Constant
Law of Selective Gravity:
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
Schmidt's Law
Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.
Anthony's Law of Force
If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.
Gordon's First Law
Love is a matter of chemistry;
sex is a matter of physics.
Mark's mark
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
Clarke's First Law
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
The Whispered Rule
When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Colson's Law
Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
  1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
  2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation.
6. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
Murphy's Military Laws
13. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Murphy's Military Laws
14. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
Murphy's Military Laws
If in doubt, make it sound convincing.
Murphy's Laws
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
Cole's Axiom

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