Human Laws

All tapes left in a car for more than about a fortnight metamorphose into 'Best of Queen' albums.

Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens  

The chance of the bread falling with the butter side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.

Jennings Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity  

First Law of Laboratory Work:
Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.

 

Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value

Murphy's Constant

 

Law of Selective Gravity:
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

 

If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.

Schmidt's Law  

Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.

Anthony's Law of Force  

If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.

Gordon's First Law  

Love is a matter of chemistry;
sex is a matter of physics.

Mark's mark  

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

Clarke's First Law  

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

The Whispered Rule  

When you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

Colson's Law  

Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:

• An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
• An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

 

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation.

 

1. The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

Murphy's Military Laws  

1. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Murphy's Military Laws  

1. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

Murphy's Military Laws  

If in doubt, make it sound convincing.

Murphy's Laws  

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

 

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

Cole's Axiom  

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