Human Laws page 2

College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to drink.
Just when you think you've finally hit bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet. When toast is dropped, it always lands butter-side-down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat, butter facing up. The two will hover, spinning, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-toast/cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
If you can't solve it otherwise, get violent.
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
If at first you don't succeed, give up. No use being a damn fool.
Murphy's Laws
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
If it happens, it must be possible.
Murphy's Laws
If it jams - force it.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
Lowery's Law
If no one uses it, there's a reason.
If things appear to be going well, you have overlooked something.
If you thought yesterday was bad, wait till you see what happens today.
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
Lynch's Law
Misfortune: the kind of fortune that never misses.
Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
Ralph's Observation
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Manly's Maxim
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Cannon's Comment
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Murphy's Corollary

First Page   Next Page Next page

Page 2 of 18