😂80+ Funny Love Quotes That Will Crack You Up

These love quotes will surely make you laugh. Enjoy!
Read these funny love quotes that will crack you up. 

 

Funny Love Quotes

Love is something very important in someone's life, but we can't forget about humor. Moments feel more special when you remember them with a laugh. Laughing and having fun with your partner will make your relationship stronger and happier. Of course, sometimes there are parts in love that don't seem funny at first, but then you find yourself laughing about. Live, LOVE, and LAUGH!

With these funny love quotes, we only want to put some color in your relationship and make it fun. Share these quotes with your beloved ones and make them crack up. 

1
"Love is like a lost fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit."
Stephen K. Amos
2
"I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I'd just love to punch right in the face!"
Unknown
3
"Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."
Phyllis Diller
4
"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are."
Will Ferrell
5
"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."
Rita Rudner
6
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
Richard Jeni
7
"If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?"
Lily Tomlin
8
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx
9
"Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass."
English Proverb
10
"Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else."
Jean Kerr
11
"I love you even when I'm really, really hungry"
Unknown
12
"My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."
Rodney Dangerfield
13
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
Albert Einstein
14
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
Erma Bombeck
15
"Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there."
George Burns
16
"The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love."
Sophie Monroe
17
"They say true love hides behind every corner, I must be walking in circles."
Unknown
18
"Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop."
H. L. Mencken
19
"Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill & not doing it because you’d miss them!"
Unknown
20
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
Charles M. Schulz
21
"Love is the seventh sense, which destroys all the other six senses."
Unknown
22
"Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery."
Fulton J. Sheen
23
"Love is a two-way street constantly under construction."
Carroll Bryant
24
"A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
25
"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked."
Erich Segal
26
"You’re just like bacon, beer and chocolate – you make everything better."
Unknown
27
"I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?"
Jean Illsley Clarke
28
"An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
Agatha Christie
29
"Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener"
Pauline Thomason
30
"Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator."
Helen Gurley Brown
31
"People should fall in love with their eyes closed."
Andy Warhol
32
"I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met."
Steven Wright
33
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell."
Joan Crawford
34
"I love you more than coffee, but please don't make me prove it."
Elizabeth Evans
35
"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale."
Hussein Nishah
36
"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood."
Oscar Wilde
37
"Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore."
Bree Luckey
38
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met."
Rodney Dangerfield
39
"Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock."
Jewish Proverb
40
"They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?"
Unknown
41
"Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one."
Fran Lebowitz
42
"Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house."
Unknown
43
"Besides chocolate, you're my favourite."
Unknown
44
"Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses."
Thomas Dewar
45
"If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something."
Fran Lebowitz
46
"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
Bob Hope
47
"Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions."
Tommy Dewar
48
"Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Ambrose Bierce
49
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
Henry Youngman
50
"Husbands and wives are so irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?"
Janet Periat
51
"I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate - but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza."
Alf Whit
52
"I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.”
Woody Allen
53
"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it."
Henny Youngman
54
"Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull."
H.L. Mencken
55
"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste."
David Bissonette
56
"What the world really needs is more love and less paper work."
Pearl Bailey
57
"Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like."
Adrienne Gusoff
58
"Men make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
Unknown
59
"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"
Bette Midler
60
"You can't buy love on eBay."
Unknown
61
"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him."
Brendan Francis
62
"Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch."
Cathy Carlyle
63
"Men aren't necessities, they're luxuries."
Cher
64
"It is impossible to love and be wise."
Francis Bacon
65
"Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it."
George Carlin
66
"When we got married I told my wife "If you leave me, I'm going with you. And she never did."
James Fineous McBride
67
"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up."
Joan Rivers
68
"Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.”
Joan Rivers
69
"No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along."
Joyce Brothers
70
"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married."
Katharine Hepburn
71
"True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one."
La Rochefoucauld
72
"The only people who make love all the time are liars."
Louis Jordan
73
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby."
Natalie Wood
74
"Love is a grave mental disease."
Plato
75
"Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with?"
Rita Rudner
76
"Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
Woody Allen
77
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
Steve Martin
78
"The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty."
Woody Allen
79
"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
Woody Allen
80
"All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems."
Shelley Winters
81
"Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity. "
Friedrich Nietzsche
82
"I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands."
Dudley Moore
83
"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him."
Cher
84
"The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."
Unknown