Quotes about Religion page 9

God asked Adam: "What's wrong?" and Adam replied, "I'm lonely." So God said: "Adam, I will make you a partner. She will wash and cook and clean for you, she will listen to what you have to say and never interrupt you. Whe won't nag you about your actions and she will even bear your children. She will stay loyal to you and never be influenced by other men." So Adam asked, "Well, what's his gonna cost me?". "An arm and a leg." And Adam asked: "Well what can I get for an rib?". And the rest is history.
If God made the Earth, then why do we want to go to heaven?
Far too many people believe in religion; only a handful believe in God.
And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's will. "But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. So every one who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven; but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven
Revised Standard Version of the Bible
It's hard to be religious when certain people don't get incinerated by lighting bolts
Calvin & Hobbes
A coincidence is a small miracle where God chose to remain anonymous.
Heidi Quade
To be a pacifist regarding war, you must be an activist against religion.
Erik Victory
We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.
Johnathan Swift
Dear God: Why is there so much violence in schools? -A Concerned Student

Dear Concerned Student: I'm not allowed in school. -God-
On a T-shirt
I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
Stephen Roberts.
Humanity's first sin was faith; the first virtue was doubt.
People believe mistakenly, that with death comes atonement, when in reality, life is for atonement and Death is for Judgment.
Thomas A. Perez, Sr., Dec. 1991
Within all of us there is a storm. Some believe it will never end: but he who has faith in the heavens above will weather any storm.
R. Kelly
For God so loved the world that he drowned everyone in it.
Athwart Babbit
If you talk to God you are praying. If God talks to you, you're schizo.
If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
Thomas Carlyle
Anyone inexperienced puts faith in every word, but the shrewd one considers his steps.
Proverbs 14:15
If a man suddenly appears before me with a big beard and locks and the works, and performed this huge fucking miracle and said to me "I am God," I'd say, "Fuck man, I didn't believe in ya but ok, you got me." But until that day he can fuck right off.
Liam Gallagher, Oasis
Life is but a momentary glimpse of the wonder of the astonishing universe, and it is sad to see so many dreaming it away on spiritual fantasy.
Carl Sagan

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