Movie Quotes

Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

John McClane, Die Hard

Trapped in Time...
Surrounded by Evil...
Low on Gas.

Evil Dead III, Army of Darkness

I'm too old for this shit.

Lethal Weapon

So many assholes, so few bullets.

Ford Fairlane - Rock'n'Roll Detective

Time is an abyss. Profound as a thousand nights... Centuries come and go... To be unable to grow old is terrible.

Death is not the worst... There are things more horrible than death. Can you imagine... Enduring centuries... experiencing each day with the same futile things.

Nosferatu (Hertzhog)

Death is not everything.
It is more cruel not to be able to die.

Nosferatu

Life is a random lottery of meaningless tragedies and a series of near escapes.

So, I sit here and I smoke my camel straits.

Ethan Hawke from Reality Bites

Your a woman of many parts Pussy.

James Bond, Goldfinger

God, God, why did you put so many assholes in the world at the same time?

Major Santini in The Great Santini after reading news of Fidel Castro and Nikita Kruschev

Gunnery Sargeant Hartmann: "How tall are you Private?"
Private Cowboy: "5 foot 9 Sir".
Gunnery Sargeant Hartmann: "5 foot 9? I didn't know they could stack shit that high... are you trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere?"

Sargeant Hartmann in Full Metal Jacket

You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

The man with no name (Clint Eastwood), The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

There are only two kind sof people in the world: Those who dig Clint Eastwood movies.. and Dweebs

Garth Ennis

HORROR FILM WISDOM:

1. When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
2. If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
3. Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them at once. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared.
5. When you have the benefit of numbers, never go alone.
6. If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
7. If you're running from the monster, you will most likely trip or fall. If you are female you will.
8. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine, especially if it is called Derry.
9. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
10. hen something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many times before it will fire up.
11. People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by the monster, so don't rely on them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by encountering their flayed corpse at some point.
12. Do not call the police as they are either evil and will turn you in or will not believe you and laugh at you. Either way, you must handle the problem yourself.
13. If you are using a gun to combat the all-comsuming evil, it is a good idea to quickly find a new means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run out just before you kill the monster (unless your name is Ash, in which case, you'll never have to reload).
14. If you have defeated the monster, pay close attention to the camera, if it pans away for no apparent reason at all, get the heck out of there.
15. Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible, nasty, painful way. Be a believer.
16. If you are a child, don't panic! Monsters only attack overly horny teenagers. Children can NOT be killed in a movie, only possessed or absorbed. So cheer up!
17. If you've beaten the monster into a bloody pulp and you're sure he must be dead, take the opportunity to dismember, burn, eat, blow up or otherwise utterly destroy him.

No matter how liberated this world becomes, man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume and women, whether they like to admit it or not, will be impressed.

Cocktails

Do or do not, there is no try.

Yoda, Empire Strikes Back

There is a piper down, I repeat there is a piper down

So I married an axe murder

No sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!

Col. Sanders to Dark Helmet in "Spaceballs"

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue?

Loyd Bridges (Airplane)

The Greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was convincing the world he didn't exist.

The Usual Suspects

It's a hell of a thing killing a man... You take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna' have.

Clint Eastwood, Unforgiven

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