Human Laws

 Page 2 of 18 (358 quotes in this category)
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.

F. P. Jones




College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to drink.




Just when you think you've finally hit bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.




When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet. When toast is dropped, it always lands butter-side-down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat, butter facing up. The two will hover, spinning, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-toast/cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

Omni




If you can't solve it otherwise, get violent.




How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.




If at first you don't succeed, give up. No use being a damn fool.

Murphy's Laws




If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.




If it happens, it must be possible.

Murphy's Laws




If it jams - force it.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Lowery's Law




If no one uses it, there's a reason.




If things appear to be going well, you have overlooked something.




If you thought yesterday was bad, wait till you see what happens today.




When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Lynch's Law




Misfortune: the kind of fortune that never misses.




Never insult an alligator until you've crossed the river.




It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.

Ralph's Observation




Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Manly's Maxim




If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Cannon's Comment




Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

Murphy's Corollary




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