Human Laws

When everything is right nothing is left.

 

All wisdom ends in paradox.

 

The best thing about humanity is humans. The worst thing about humanity is humans. Humanity is a paradox of contradictions.

 

The amount of time since the last time you saved your document is directly proptional to the chance of an error occuring and lossing the document.

Thomas F. Clauss III  

No matter which train you are waiting for, the wrong one arrives first.

Meditz Subway Postulate  

Never sneeze while leaning your head against a brick wall.

John Morrison Raymond, III  

Never fry bacon in the nude.

H. Peter Miner  

Small change can often be found under seat cushions.

Lazarus Long, "Time Enough For Love" by Robert Heinlein  

Cheops' Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Lazarus Long, "Time Enough For Love" by Robert Heinlein  

Any organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

 

Statistics are like bikinis, what they conceal is more important than what they reveal

 

Nothing is so simple it can't get screwed up.

 

Smile... it confuses people.

Cassie  

Being popular is like being in a crowded elevator: you are just a fart away from being hated.

braxton fart theory  

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

Dog Property Laws:

• If I like it, it's mine.
• If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
• If I can take it from you, it's mine.
• If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
• If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
• If it's broken, it's yours.

Katie Santo  

Live it up, drink it down.

Brian Kramer  

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.

Aristotle  

History is written by the winners.

 

You can paint a turd red, but it's still a turd.

Jason Bray  

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