Human Laws
The probability of somebody watching you is directly proportionate to the stupidity of your actions.
Valentine's Day is a cruel, evil holiday which exists solely to pour lemon juice on the paper-cut hearts of the unattached.
How do you explain color to a blind man?
Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.
Fate is the realization that you have absolutely no control of your life.
Know the rules well, so you can break them right.
You see obstacles when you take your eyes off the prize.
Your secretary will not enter your office until about 5 seconds after you fart.
The 50-50-90 rule: Whenever you have a 50/50 chance of getting somthing right, there is a 90% probability you'll get it wrong!
He who drop watch in toilette have shitty time.
Do unto others then run like hell.
When you're driving and you're in a rush, remember the oncoming traffic has brakes.
Don't squat with yer spurs on.
Murphy's Laws of Combat
When in doubt, empty your magazine.
Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush.
Try to look uninportant because the bad guys may be low on ammo.
The enemy diversion you are ignoring, is the main attack.
The easy way is always mined.
Friendly fire - isn't.
If the enemy is in range - SO ARE YOU.
Things that must be together to work, usually aren't shipped together.
Tracers work both ways.
The only thing more accurate than incoming fire is incoming friendly fire.
Make it tough for the enemy to get in, and you can't get out.
Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
Murphy was a grunt.
All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
A plumber never bites his nails.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
If you want a picture of the future - just imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever
Saying that rape is about sex is like hitting a woman on the head with a frying pan and calling it cooking.
Talk is cheap beacuse supply exceeds demand.
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