Human Laws

If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.

Murphy's Laws

The probability of anything happening is inversely proportional to its desirability.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can make a fool of yourself anytime.

Don't wear ear muffs in a land of rattlesnakes

The man who invented the eraser had the human race pretty well sized up.

Van Roy's Laws

Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on

Dean Martin

He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.

Terry Cohen

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

The ninth Law of Sex

Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.

The Unapplicable Law

The uglier a sofa is, the more uncomfortable it is to sit in.

Fools rush in and get the best seats.

Mad Magazine

Build something that is fool proof and they will build a better fool.

Fool proof

If it dosn't work, try fixing it. If it breaks, you've lost nothing.

Backyard mechanic

You can't polish a turd!

Grandpa

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.

Murphys Laws

It's only illegal if you get caught..

Kyro 9419

It's not enough to be good when you have the ability to be better.

Alberta Lee Cox, grade 8

There are only two sentences you need to remember to survive in life:

I have no recollection of the events in question.

The cat did it.

Kat

When all else fails there's always beer.

Norm McDonald

In order to get what you want, you must do something you've never done.

Cool Quotes Collection