Funny Quotes page 90

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
Dave Barry
In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love, 500 years of democracy and peace and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.
Orson Welles
I love writing but hate starting. The page is awfully white and it says, 'You may have fooled some of the people some of the time but those days are over, giftless. I'm not your agent and I'm not your mommy, I'm a white piece of paper, you wanna dance with me?' and I really, really don't. I'll go peaceable-like.
Aaron Sorkin
Remember my dear, I can smell a lie like a fart in a car!
Pump Up The Volume
It's better to be a lil bit crazy then a lil bit smart
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable expectations and eventual disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around the room with royal-blue chickens.
Fran Lebowitz
If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress?
Paul Harvey
Hollywood: A place where they shoot too many movies and not enough actors.
Walter Winchell
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that it must be altered every six months.
Oscar Wilde"The Picture of Dorian Gray"
I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.
James H. Boren
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
George Jessell
I'll believe in colour television when I see it in black and white.
Samuel Goldwyn
Marriage is a great institution but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
Mae West
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
Kin Hubbard
If a patient is poor he is committed to a public hospital as a "psychotic". If he can afford a sanatorium, the diagnosis is "neurasthenia". If he is wealthy enough to be in his own home under the constant watch of nurses and physicians, he is simply "an indisposed eccentric".
Pierre Janet
It suggests that he is taking some kind of personal revenge on the play.
Critique of Peter O'Toole as Macbeth

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