Funny Quotes

Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

A penny saved is ridiculous.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

We pray for MacArthur's erection.

Sign erected by Japanese citizens in Tokyo, when MacArthur was considering a run for President

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and, furthermore, always carry a small snake.

W. C. Fields

ATTENTION
This room is fullfilled mit special electronische equippment. Fingergrabbing and pressing the cnoeppkes from the computers is allowed for die experts only! So all the "lefthanders" stay away and do not disturben the brainstorming von here working intelligencies. Otherwise you will be thrown out and kicked anderswhere! Also: please keep still and only watchen astaunished the blinkenlights.

Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep till noon.

Graffiti

Cure virginity!

Graffiti

Today is the first day of the rest of your life - celebrate now!

Graffiti

It's me and you against the world. So when do we attack?

Graffiti

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Restroom Ceiling Graffiti

Be careful -- Your family's future is in your hands.

Restroom Graffiti

Together we're too many!

Graffiti, Malmö

Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem 'Ode to a small lump of green putty I found in my armpit one midsummer morning' four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been 'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve book epic 'My Favorite Bathtime Gurgles' when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation, leapt straight up through his throat and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England in the destruction of the planet Earth.

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting

Marvin's first ever compliment about anybody, in Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The only way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your fingers down his throat.

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

THERE'S NO JUSTICE. THERE'S ONLY ME.

Judge Dredd

With a rubber duck, one's never alone.

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

To be is to do (I. Kant)
To do is to be (A. Sartre)
Do-be-do-be-do (F. Sinatra)
Yabba-Dabba-Doo! (F. Flinstone)

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