Funny Quotes
Welcome to our OOL... notice there is no P in it... please keep it that way
Mayflies only live for one day, so I guess if they don't eat breakfast they had a bad childhood.
A hospital is no place to be sick.
Veni, Vidi, Velcro... I came, I saw, I stuck around!
The virtues of being punctual are largely offset by having to wait for people who aren't.
Giant oak trees started out as little nuts that held their ground.
The biggest problem with perfection is what to do with all the unused erasers.
I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.
He tried to murder me. When you kill someone by chopping off their head, wrapping the body in a carpet and lighting it on fire, you better make sure they're dead.
What you think is a white horse in the park could be a zebra synchronised with the railings
I will destroy you, via destruction.
When asked to describe the famouse glass of water, there can only be 4 answers and they will reflect the character of the person, they are: a) half empty b) half full c) half empty, no...half full, ...I mean empty, ...what was the question? d) hey, I ordered a cheeseburger!
They say the guys with really cool cars are compensating for small wangs. Well, ladies, I don't even have a car.
I don't like to repeat gossip, so listen carefully the first time.
The road to sucess is always under construction
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the United States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the 9 millimeter bullet.
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
What I do have a problem with are the people who fail to see the glaring hypocrisy of screaming the words "shut up" into a bullhorn.
'Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.
there's nothing good about being the woman of the house, apart from wearing the underwear
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