Funny Quotes page 58

Boycott shampoo - demand the REAL poo!
Bumper Sticker
You've inspired me to think less about life and more about thongs.
More and more of our imports come from overseas...
George W. Bush
Keep Earth clean, it's not Uranus
Bumper Sticker
I haven't grown up at all since I was a freshmen in high school, unfortunately neither has my penis.
Tom DeLonge
Texas: Scaring the bejezzus out of the other states since 1845.
As seen on a T-shirt
Is your name sprite? cause baby you'd quench my thirst!
Bad pickup line
Those who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made.
To do is to be - Socrates
To be is to do - Aristotle
Do be do be do - Sinatra
I'm Canadian. It's like an American, but without a gun.
The Kids in the Hall
Harrasing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
Joe E. Lewis, 1902-1971
Do not take orally.
Warning on a Preparation H bottle
Masterbation cums in handy
Everybody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils.
Homer Simpson
Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya
Please don't throw your toothpicks in the toilet. The crabs have learned to pole vault.
Bathroom Graffiti
When it comes to procrastinating, I do it right away.

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