Funny Quotes page 54
I'd rather let 5000 guilty men go free, then chase after them.
Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?A: A quarter pounder with cheese
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
In blue ink: "Here I sit all tired and dirty, trying to take a shit until 5:30"In red ink just below it: "There you sit all dirty and tired, when you get out your ass is fired!
Hillbilly dating service:I'd like to meet someone outside the family.
The only thing that tops our pizza is our people.
A common mistake people make when designing something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
Our defense is like the Pythagorean Theorem. There is no answer
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Powers:"Who does number two work for?"
Arnold:"That's right bud. You show that turd who's boss."
I have the body of a god! Too bad it's Buddah
If sex is a pain in the ass... your doing it wrong!
Jesus Saves! By using double coupons and shopping wisely.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
Your name should be Campbell because your mmm... mmm... good
Homer: Now remember Lisa, always give in to peer pressure.
Lisa: But what if someone really bad tells me to do something really bad and...
Homer: ALWAYS
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
That which does not kill you only makes you wish it had.
Can't STOP, hammer time.
LIBRARY PARKING ONLY: violaters will be held in low esteem
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