Funny Quotes page 51

It takes many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it.
Chinese Proverb
Italians could not have described the word politics better. "Poli" meaning many, and "tics" meaning blood sucking creatures.
Friends are like good bras: supportive, hard to find, and close to the heart.
People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
Horn broken: Watch for finger.
Bumper Sticker
To speak before you think is like wiping your ass before you shit!
Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass.
Mr. Jack Tinner
Hey man, I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on your daughter.
Ryan Macdonald
Occifer, I swear to drunk I'm not god!
God is dead. -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. -God
Nietzsche is God. -Dead
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A: A "megasoreass"
Why do we call something sent by car a "shipment" and something sent by ship a "cargo?"
If our food and drink don't meet your standards, please lower your standards
Chewy's Restaurant Wall
Some come here to sit and think, Others come to shit and sink. I come here to scratch my balls, and read the bullshit on the walls.
Bathroom graffiti
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: A Lickedalottapuss
Pretend you're smart: use quotes.
Let's make like a fat man's pants and split.
If a mute swears, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
Life's a bitch but God forbid the bitch to divorce me...
Nas Escobar

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