Funny Quotes page 41

This just in: Your favorite band sucks.
The Onion
If you melt dry ice, can you swim in it without getting wet?
Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes.
Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)
I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas and put on my prayers, turned off my bed and jumped into the light....all because you kissed me goodnight!
Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle.
Michael August
Damn you to hell. Or Texas.
Amy F.
Some people think sex is like jogging... You can last longer the more you do it. Others think that its like golf... You get better the more you do it... I think it's like running down a road swinging a pitching wedge at a whiffle ball.
In the days of old when knights were bold, and condoms weren't invented. They used their socks to tie their cocks, and babies were prevented.
Sex is a sensation that starts with a temptation where a boy puts his location in a girls destination, to increase the population for the next generation. Do you get my explanaton or do you need a demonstration?
You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
Bumper Sticker
Don't ever tease if you're not willing to please
Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.
Keep Smiling Everyone Loves A Moron
I've tried tying my shoes's on overrated expierience.
Coming To America
87 % of all statistics are just made up
Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and it's gone.
Toilet Graffiti
The only bad "f-word" is FCC.
Tom Morello, Rage Against the Machine
My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it was. You're lucky to get out alive.
It was a brave man who ate the first oyster.
Samuel Johnson

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