Funny Quotes

This just in: Your favorite band sucks.

The Onion   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

If you melt dry ice, can you swim in it without getting wet?

Dumbo   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes.

Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes)   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas and put on my prayers, turned off my bed and jumped into the light....all because you kissed me goodnight!

Unknown   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle.

Michael August   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

Damn you to hell. Or Texas.

Amy F.   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

Some people think sex is like jogging... You can last longer the more you do it. Others think that its like golf... You get better the more you do it... I think it's like running down a road swinging a pitching wedge at a whiffle ball.

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In the days of old when knights were bold, and condoms weren't invented. They used their socks to tie their cocks, and babies were prevented.

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Sex is a sensation that starts with a temptation where a boy puts his location in a girls destination, to increase the population for the next generation. Do you get my explanaton or do you need a demonstration?

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You can trust the government, just ask the Indians

Bumper Sticker   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

Don't ever tease if you're not willing to please

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Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.

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Keep Smiling Everyone Loves A Moron

Bumpersticker   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

I've tried tying my shoes once...it's on overrated expierience.

Coming To America   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

87 % of all statistics are just made up

unknown   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and it's gone.

Toilet Graffiti   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

The only bad "f-word" is FCC.

Tom Morello, Rage Against the Machine   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, "How was that drive-by shooting?" You don't care how it was. You're lucky to get out alive.

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It was a brave man who ate the first oyster.

Samuel Johnson   Comment this quote or see more details Share this quote on Facebook!

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