Funny Quotes page 30

Nice perfume, must you merinate in iT?
Bumper Sticker
They say Washington DC is filled with beautiful, intelligent young women looking for husbands. Hey, I'm a husband!
Covert Comic @ www.covertcomic.com
The two steps to total business success:
1) Never give away all your secrets
2)
I have never fully understood the female capacity to completly avoid a simple answer to a direct question.
No one gets into heaven without a glowstick!
Homer Simpson
Never go to a doctor whose office plants are dead.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
To all you virgins out there. Thanks for nothing.
Bumber Sticker
Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks!
If I had a ticket to heaven,
but you didn't have one too,
i'd tear my ticket to pieces,
and go to hell with you!
I don't hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it feels good till you realize you're fucking yourself...
If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
Well kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson
Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised.
Please do not throw cigarette butts into the urinals, as it makes them soggy and very hard to light
Bathroom graffiti
We aim to please, so please aim.
Bathroom graffiti
I'm not working out because my philosphy is no pain, no pain.
Guys are like parking spaces, almost all the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.

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