Funny Quotes
Whatcha up to, Norm?""My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.
These are MY opinions: my employer thinks I'm working.
Avoid throwing shit at the fan.
To understand the latest discovery about how the universe began, it helps to go back to the saga of the pigeon poop. In 1964, two radio astronomers at Bell Labs were working on an antenna for the new Telstar communications-satellite system. But no matter where Arno Penzias and Robert Wilson pointed the horn-shaped antenna, it picked up a hiss. Some kibitzers suspected that bird droppings in the antenna might be responsible, so the astronomers shoveled out the guano and shooed away the birds. Still the hiss. Scientists at Princeton University eventually traced the sound to a somewhat more distant source: the hiss was radiation left over from the cosmic fireball in which the universe was created.
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
A bad attitude is the only true disability in life, they just dont hand out those spiffy handicapped license plates for it.
Smell that Ralph? That's the smell of justice." "It smells like hot dogs.
I'm at a stage in my life where I'm having a hard time caring about things. Fortunately, I don't care.
I know sex isn't love, but it's an attractive facsimile
There are three types of economist. Those who can count, and those who can't
I used to disgusted... now I'm just amused
The funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common.
Long live the Chicken!
Who discovered that you could get milk from cows, and what the HELL did he think he was doing at the time?
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already.
Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help
Borg, sounds swedish""Definitely not Swedish
Love is like bridge, if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand
This time i didnt loose the keys... I lost the whole damn car
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