Funny Quotes
Why do they put braille dots on drive up ATM machines?
Nick Featherman
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
Nick Featherman
If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Nick Featherman
If a Seven-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Nick Featherman
If a cow laughed hard enough, would milk come out it's nose?
Nick Featherman
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
Nick Featherman
How do you know whan it is time to tune your bagpipes?
Nick Featherman
Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Nick Featherman
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
Nick Featherman
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Nick Featherman
Thanks to modern chemistry, sleep is now optional.
Coffee shop wall
life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
You smell like the splashboard of an Indian urinal during mango season.
Bryce Cortaney
I've found Him -- I have Jesus in my trunk!
Bumper Sticker
A whiskey glass and a woman's ass are the downfall of many a good man.
Rick Chapman
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought "what good would that do?".
Ronnie Shakes
I wouldn't reccommend sex, drugs, and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Hunter S. Thompson
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hardit is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes)
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes)
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Thomas Cotter
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