Funny Quotes
Why do they put braille dots on drive up ATM machines?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
If a Seven-Eleven is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed hard enough, would milk come out it's nose?
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
How do you know whan it is time to tune your bagpipes?
Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Thanks to modern chemistry, sleep is now optional.
life, n.: A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
You smell like the splashboard of an Indian urinal during mango season.
I've found Him -- I have Jesus in my trunk!
A whiskey glass and a woman's ass are the downfall of many a good man.
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought "what good would that do?".
I wouldn't reccommend sex, drugs, and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hardit is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
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