Funny Quotes page 19

Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
Children in the dark cause accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children.
Here's to you, Here's to me, the best of friends we'll always be, but if by chance we disagree, fuck you and here's to me.
Popular toast
Waldo is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Saki (H. H. Munro)
Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.
Matt a.k.a. NoFear
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra
Sects, sects, sects... Is that all you monks think about?
It's not the men in my life, but the life in my men that counts!
Mae West
First law of science: don't spit into the wind.
Excuse me, but I think my karma just ran over your dogma
Fat girls are like mopeds. There fun to ride, but you dont want anyone seeing you riding them.
Outside a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Church bulletin
If a man says something in a forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
If you pulled the wings off of a fly, would it still be called a fly, or would it be called a walk?
Marshall Bass
When asked what time it was Yogi Berra once replied "You mean now?"
If you want to survive in life, you've got to know where your towel is.
Douglas Adams
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

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