Funny Quotes page 12

When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
If a tree falls in the forest and it hits a mime, does anyone care?
The Far Side - Gary Larson
Få ord och fyndiga är bättre än många och myndiga
Finskt ordspråk
I recently discovered that my name, Simon Renstrom, is an anagram for "stern moronism".
Empty what is full, fill what is empty and scratch where it itches.
Talulah Bankhead
For centuries to come, many years will pass.
Pat Paulsen
Gravity always wins.
Recent proclamation
I am not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.
T-shirt in window display in Washington, DC
It's a very fine line that separates first class from half assed.
Robert Jan
The way to tell a field hand from an office hand is as follows: An office hand will use the restroom, then wash hands; A field hand will wash hands then use the restroom.
A dog looks up to humans. A cat looks down on people. But a pig will look a human in the eye and see its equal.
Winston Churchill
Never try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time, and you annoy the pig.
Mark Twain
Life is like a game of cards. If you don't have a partner, you better have a good hand.
Someones girlfriend
You wouldn't recognize a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked upon a harpsichord singing "Subtle Plans are Here Again."
Edmund Blackadder
It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Prairie Home Companion
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.
A Starwars fan
The norwegian language have the letters æ, ø and å. The name "Mr. Sørås" gets to be "Mr. Sore As".
His friend Stein
"All my llife I wanted to be someone ; I guess I should of been more specific".
Jane Wagner
Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that counts.

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