Computer Quotes
In Life: You spill your cereal at breakfast, you get fired from your job, your dog dies, and your house burns down.
Computer Equivalent: Virus Detected.In Life: You've finished a 900 page novel. Your life's work. You will be a famous author world-wide; but then, it falls into the lit fireplace.
Computer Equivalent: Quitting without saving.In Life: A solution to all problems is found. World peace is achieved, all conflicts end, and everyone is happy.
Computer Equivalent: Ctrl+Alt+DelJackal
Alcohol and calculus don't mix... Don't drink and derive.
Linux is free only if your time is worthless.
To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer.
Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.
A programmer
Hard Drive: The part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
Dave Barry
PurpleBlood> Dont take offense by this, but how old are you? You must be a major geek to sit around in this channel on your computer all day, and on your ASS!
SEGA> im a bot you fucking idiot.
mp3 on Dalnet
People like you don\'t belong on IRC.
AK|RA in #poolside on Dalnet
Per section 126.B article 12 of the Information Warfare Bill passed by the senate in 1996 I am reporting you to your ISP.
AK|RA in #poolside on Dalnet
Microsoft: This company has performed an illegal operation and must be shut down. If problem persists please call the Department of Justice.
Debugging tips from the Master, Sherlock Holmes:
"It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts."
"As a rule, the more bizarre a thing is, the less mysterious it proves to be."
"Perhaps I have trained myself to see what others overlook."
"There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact."
"Chance has put in our way a most singular and whimsical problem, and its solution is its own reward."
"I am glad of all details, whether they seem to you to be relevant or not."
Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle
O Langley invented the bolometer
A very good kind of thermometer
You can measure the heat
from a penguin bird's seat,
From a distance of half a kilometer.
Limerick in tribute to the bolometer (which can measure temperature differences down to one hundred-millionth of a degree Celsius)
I code therefore I exist - somewhere between heaven and html.
Ad Hales
I thought the only thing the internet was good for was porn.
Futurama
There are two major products that come from Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
Jeremy S. Anderson
$cd /pub
$more beerFound on T-Shirt
Seaman is the newest entry in the proud Japanese tradition of software that simulates having a friend.
Javascript is the duct tape of the Internet.
Charlie Campbell
What Microsoft Visual Basic thought of my program:
"Run-time error '-2147418113 (8000ffff)':
Catastrophic Failure
Managing programmers is like trying to herd cats.
Greg Settle