Black Humor

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!" ...until you can find a rock.

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.

Life's a bitch, then you die.

Life is a bitch, then you marry one.
Alternative version

Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.

Today is the last day of your life so far.

I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.

The more things change, the more they suck.
Butt-head

When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.
A. Rand

And out of the chaos, a voice spoke:
"Smile and be happy, for it can always be worse".
And I smiled, and I was happy, and it did get worse.

You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps.
Graffiti

We are the people our parents warned us about.
Graffiti

Does God believe in people?
Graffiti

The meek shall inherit the Earth - they're too weak to refuse.
Graffiti

Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for last.
Graffiti

Cancer cures smoking.
Graffiti

Why does free love cost so much?
Graffiti

If it moves, fondle it.
Graffiti

Copulate for coexistence!
Graffiti

To go together is blessed, to come together is divine!
Graffiti

Cool Quotes Collection