Black Humor page 25

Save the environment; kill yourself.
bumper sticker
You remind me of the crap I took this morning!
It's not the length, its not the size, its how many times you can make it rise!
If you can't be a good example, be a terrible warning.
Most people admire a good loser - as long as it is someone else.
Telling someone they look tired is just the polite way of saying "You look like shit!"
I'm not smiling because your joke was funny... I'm smiling because I know you'll be dead someday.
Aaron Cornell
There is a fine line between sanity and insanity: Come walk it with us.
Careful not to wake the devil when you tiptoe through Hell.
Bernard Kildare
When I die, I would like to be cremated and have my ashes put into the "Mr.Coffee" machine. Brew up a cup of "Joe." It would one be stiff drink.
Joe Flush, comedian
On Adversity: That which does not kill us postpones the inevitable.
On Achievement: The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.
So many pedestrians... so little time
Bumper sticker
I once tried to kill two stones with one bird... I think the bird got the bad end of the deal.
mischeivous lou
Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding.
Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta
I love cats...they taste like chicken!
Jeremy Chandler
It is ridiculous claiming that video games and internet influence children. For instance, if Pac-man affected kids born in the eighties, we should by now have a bunch of teenagers who run around in darkened rooms and eat pills while listening to monotonous electronic music.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're okay now.
Erica Gardner
We are the people our parents warned us about.

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