Black Humor
I've never understood people who considered youth a time of freedom and joy. It's probably because they have forgotten their own.
A moment comes in the life of every man or woman when he or she must decide whether to be an average middleclass american who adheres to moderate political views and believes in some sort of 'higer power', or a drunken, pork eating, whoremongering infidel.
Life is like a can of worms. Once opened, by the time you get it closed again, things are a lot more complicated than they were before.
Everything I ever needed to know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Save the Whales
Collect them All
A cooked bird does not fly, except under very unusual circumstances.
- Why can't Jesus play hockey?
- He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Alot of people ask me stupid fucking questions.
Slipping into madness is good for the sake of comparison.
If capitalism works, why are there so many stupid rich people?
I missed the boat once when I was young and stupid, but now I am able to miss the boat repeatedly with great skill and accuracy.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Everybody has the right to be stupid, but some people abuse this right.
The more I know people, the more I love my dog.
You are one load your mother should have swallowed.
If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head?
Insanity chooses its victims well.
Satan's in a boyband.
You only call me a cynic because you're afraid I might be right.
Tis better to have loved and lost than to have flossed with the anal hairs of an African Silverback gorilla
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