Black Humor

Democracy: Four wolves and one lamb voting on lunch

Drive it like you stole it

Bumper Sticker

Jesus loves you! The rest of us think you're an asshole.

T-shirt

You can't make somebody love you. You can only stalk them and hope they give in.

If you are standing around looking stupid then you probably are.

Raymond Herrera Jones Jr.

I would be better off dead, no wait, if YOU were dead.

I feel glad for the homeless gay people, they have no closet to come out of.

Katy C.

Am I raping your virgin eyes?

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

Beam me up, Jesus!

Three can keep a secret, if two are dead.

I use to drink a lot. Now I sip.

I like going to a school yard and watching all the little kids run and scream on the school grounds. Of course they don't know that I'm using blanks.

If the world didn't suck we would all fall off!

Zach Davis

When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.

Despair.com

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.

Despair.com

Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

Keith Fanning

It's better to be a delighted pessimist than a disappointed opptimist.

Deke Leonard, "Maybe I Should've Stayed in Bed"

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Cool Quotes Collection