Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem 'Ode to a small lump of green putty I found in my armpit one midsummer morning' four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been 'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve book epic 'My Favorite Bathtime Gurgles' when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation, leapt straight up through his throat and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England in the destruction of the planet Earth.
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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